joke time

Squirrels and Church Membership

Squirrels had overrun 3 small churches in a town.
After much prayer, the pastor of the first church determined that the animals were predestined to be there. Who was he to interfere with God's will? he reasoned. Soon the squirrels multipled.
The pastor of second church decided that could not harm the squirrels, so that humanely trapped them and set them free outside of town. Three days later, they were back.
The third church succeeded in keeping the pest away. The pastor baptised the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Cough medicine

A chemist walks into his shop to find a customer leaning heavily against the wall. "What's wrong with that man?" he asked his assistant.
"Well, he came in the morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup so i gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
"You can't treat a cough with laxative!" splutters the chemist.
"Yes, you can. Now he's afraid to cough."

Chicken

A man was about to order his breakfast when he asked the waitress," What's the Unique Breakfast Special?"
"Baked chicken tongue." He was told.
"That's disgusting!," the man said."I 'll never eat anything that came out of a chicken's mouth."
"What would you like then?"the waitress asked.
"Just bring me some scrambled eggs."