Joke Time

  Discovered the jokes in an old email sent by a friend.
 Some of them are really excellent.I really like the one on stolen credit cards.
 Have a good laugh, husbands! (if you dare)
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 My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

        -Henny Youngman

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        My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.  

        -Rodney Dangerfield

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        A good wife always forgives her husband when she's 

        wrong. -Milton Berle

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        I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,

        "There was water in the carburetor."

        I asked her , "What do you know about carburetors? Where's the car?"

        She replied,"In the lake."

        -Henny Youngman

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        The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

        -Henny Youngman

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        After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You

        know, I was a fool when I married you."

        The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and

        didn't notice."

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        When a man steals your wife, there is no better

        revenge than to let him keep her.

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        I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't

        like to interrupt her.

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        My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.

        So I got myself two girlfriends.

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        A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to 

        report it since the thief was spending much less than

        his wife did.

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        Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is

        finished.

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        A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does

        it cost to get married?"

        The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

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        Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a

        Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

        Dad: That happens in every country, son.

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        Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real

        happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

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        A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

        The next day he received a hundred letters.

        They all said the same: "You can have mine."

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        A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a

        millionaire."

        "And what was he before you married him?" asked the

        friend.

        "A billionaire." she replied,

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        Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

        Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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        It's not true that married men live longer than single men. 

        It only seems longer.

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        Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was 

        almost impossible.

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        Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go

        through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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        Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for

        marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.

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        The most effective way to remember your wife's

        birthday is to forget it once.